The Good Stuff
by Oreithyia
Summary: He would keep his eye on Amy until the effects wore off, and everything would be fine. Yes, that's what he would do. Perfect. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, or anything associated with it whatsoever. Alas, and woe.

The Good Stuff

"Come on, Doctor!'

"Amy…"

"Doctor, just do it! Come on! Hit the switch! Let's go!"

The Doctor pressed his lips together nervously, his dark bangs flopping over his eyes as they darted around the TARDIS console room looking for a way out. He didn't see one.

"Doctor!" Amy stood at the TARDIS doors, her face beaming, one hand on each handle. "Hit it!"

Eyes still filled with wariness, the Doctor began to lower a switch, looking over at the redhead.

Amy flung open the TARDIS, facing the scene outside. "I see London!"

The TARDIS materialized over the Eiffel Tower, and the doors flung open again.

"I see France!" she yelled happily.

Amy slammed the doors shut and shoved her hand in the pocket of her cardigan. "I see the Doctor's…" She flung up her hands in triumph, a pair of tighty-whities in one balled fist.

"Underpants!"

The Doctor gasped, scandalized. He grab the front of his trousers, yanking them forward so he could look down them. Assuring himself the underwear he had put on this morning was where'd he last seen them, the Doctor looked back at Amy, his half invisible eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline.

He sputtered indignantly. "Amy, where did you get my underwear?!"

She giggled, arms still raised as she spun on the spot, then made a face as she touched the hand not holding the Doctor's underoos to a swollen check. "Ooh, felt that a bit."

The Doctor waggled his fingers nervously before scratching at his chin. Wisdom teeth weren't supposed to have anything to with actual wisdom.

"Amy," he said nervously, "how many of those 'Vicodin' did you take?"

* * *

AN: Don't know where this came from. XD There will be a sequel/second chapter of Amy on Vicodin, featuring chipmunks from outer space.

Your Authoress,Oreithyia


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, or anything associated with it whatsoever. Alas, and woe.

The Musketeer Chipmunks of Hercules IC 4593

"Halt! Identify thyself!"

Amy's smiled toothily, her head weaving back in forth slightly as she looked down towards the ground.

"Oh!" She cooed, drawing out the word into multiple syllables. "You're so cute!" With their tiny adorable plumed hats and squeaky little voice like helium!

"What hast thou said?!" A tiny rapier the size of a needle was whipped from it's adorable scabbard.

The Doctor shuffled on his feet nervously. No more trips while Amy was on her Vicodin. Nope. Not one more.

No matter what she said.

Nope.

"Stay thy blade!" The more feathered of the two ordered, raising a teeny-weeny little paw towards his fellow. "Let us not assume. They are strangers here." The captain turned from his fellow furry-faced little cutie and looked up at Amy.

"Lady Yore-so Cute, with thy fine features, perhapst thou would introduce thy escort?"

"Escort?" The Doctor echoed. "Me, an _escort_?"

"Doctor, they're too cute!" Look at the way their little whiskers twitched. "I want to hold one!"

The Doctor grabbed her hands as she reached towards the ground. "No! No! Amy!" He tried to get her attention even as several sharp needles were pointed with deadly menace at their ankles. "Amy…"

"Madam, thy words are insulting. Be thou not a lady I would demand satisfaction!"

Amy giggled. "I can't get no…" she began singing.

"That's it. We're leaving." The Doctor began dragging Amy back towards the TARDIS. Those musketeers could reach as high as mid shin.

"Halt I say! Thou hast not been dismissed!"

The Doctor broken into a run, pulling Amy behind as she giggled madly.

"Halt! Halt I say thou vulgar knaves!"

And that was how the Queen of Hercules IC 4593 was treated to the sight of a scurry of her royal guard, in full regalia, swords twinkling, plumes flapping, chasing the Doctor and Amy towards the horizon.

"Listen to their little voices, Doctor!"

"Amy keep running!"

"_Have at theeeeee_!"

* * *

AN: Well, my attempts at writing Doctor Who shorts have been a bust, so hopefully the longer one I'm working on will do better. Hercules IC 4593 is a real celestial object. Yes, I am that a big nerd.

Your Authoress,Oreithyia


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